General Information
Abuse is about one person
controlling another. It's a
pattern of behavior.
You may not think of
yourself as abused because
you haven't been hit. Not
all bruises from domestic
abuse can be seen.
Mental, emotional, and
sexual abuse are just as
painful and damaging as
physical violence.
Domestic abuse happens in
all walks of life, all
cultures, all income groups,
all ages, all religions.
It is not categorized by
just one hit. It is,
however, categorized by
repetition and patterns of
violence that allow the
abuser to gain control over
the victim.
Are you being abused? Has
your partner ever...
-
hit, grabbed, choked,
bitten, burned, slapped
or pushed you?
-
used a gun or a knife or
some kind of weapon
against you?
-
hit you with some object
like a bat or pan or
belt?
-
hit, held, or squeezed
you so hard that it left
a bruise?
-
threatened to hurt or to
kill you or your
children or your
friends?
-
withheld money or food
or medicine or
transportation from you?
-
called you names, made
you feel ashamed of
yourself, humiliated
you?
-
put you down in front of
your children, your
friends, your boss, or
relatives?
-
forced you to have sex
or perform sexual acts
when you did not want
to?
-
destroyed or broken your
possessions?
-
threatened to harm or
kill himself if you do
or do not do something?
If you would like to talk to
someone or get more
information about domestic
violence, contact our
shelter.
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This chart is a graphic way
of looking at different
kinds of abuse. Each spoke
represents a tactic used to
gain control or power. The
rim that surrounds and
supports the spokes is
physical abuse. It holds the
system together and gives
the abuser strength.
Isolation
Controlling what she does,
who she sees and talks to,
where she goes.
Emotional Abuse
Putting her down or making
her feel bad about herself,
calling her names. Making
her think she's crazy. Mind
games.
Economic Abuse
Trying to keep her from
getting or keeping a job.
Making her ask for money,
giving her an allowance,
taking her money.
Sexual Abuse
Making her do sexual things
against her will. Physically
attacking the sexual parts
of her body. Treating her
like a sex object.
Using
Children
Making her feel guilty about
the children, using the
children to give messages,
using visitation as a way to
harass her.
Threats
Making and/or carrying out
threats to do something to
hurt her emotionally.
Threaten to take the
children, commit suicide,
report her to welfare.
Using
Male Privilege
Treating her like a servant.
Making all the "big"
decisions. Acting like the
"master of the castle".
Intimidation
Putting her in fear by using
looks, actions, gestures,
loud voice, smashing things,
destroying property.
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